“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11)
“So…how old are you? Oh…ok”;
“That person just broke the age barrier. Now she’s old” (said of a 30 year old);
“I’m getting old” (said a 29 year old);
“And you’re not married yet?!”;
“Those poor single and old people” (said of those over 25)
I went to a conference two months ago, which discussed the topic: “Being a Godly Man and Woman”. The turnout of people was amazing and the discussions were very good. The topics of being single, yet satisfied, and what it means to be godly, as a single or a married person, were discussed.
Some of the things that came up for discussion among the young people were sobering; others disturbing. Many expressed despair from being pressured by family, friends, work and generally their surroundings, about getting married. They were in their mid- to late- 20’s, some already in their 30’s, and the pressure for some became unbearable and they resorted to entering into relationships with people from the world who showed interest in them. Some said that if they wouldn’t be married by a certain age (like 30), they would die (meaning, they could not look beyond that age for a meaning in their life and could not see or plan for their future beyond that).
We should rejoice at every age, not frown upon it. Life itself is a gift from God and every age is one that can be used by God for His glory, if we allow Him do so.
The message in the conference was clear: whether you are single or married, you are special in God’s eyes and He has a unique plan designed for you from before the foundation of the world. Marriage does not make you more or less of a complete person in Messiah Yeshua.
The expressions at the top of this post have been made by many and heard by many more. I think it’s time we change our lingo. Enough treating unmarried young people (mainly women), as poor, old and miserable creatures for being older than a certain age and single. To those who are unmarried young adults – stop treating yourselves and others like that. It does not build up our brothers and sisters in the Lord, but has a discouraging effect. Did you ever think that God might have a different plan for those people than what you may think? “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).
I know people who were married at 19, others who were married at 30 and still others who married close to 40 and even 50. Each one is happy and would not trade a moment in their lives for what God gave them, when He did.
Two days ago, I turned 28. I have single friends for whom I pray for that God would bring a spouse. And when I see a friend getting married, I rejoice for answered prayer. I didn’t expect to still be single, but I know God has a plan and a purpose for this time. I don’t know what it is, but I do trust Him for it.
God gave me a loving family for which I am eternally grateful, wonderful friends who, with just a small note or word, can make my day. God wrote my love story and it is still being written. He gave me my prince charming, my Lord Yeshua, who’s love I wouldn’t trade for the world. If He chooses to bring me a husband, I know it will be in His time and place. He is the centre of my life and I am able to rest in His love.
If you are single and reading this, be encouraged. God is writing your love story, and if you trust Him to complete it the way that He wants, it will have a truly happy ending.
© Hannah Kramer